OK, so last year on March 12th, is the day I started going out with my first girlfriend Sam. She was pretty much a huge fucking whore, but I didn't mind, because I was getting laid pretty much on a daily basis. In retrospect, the sex was terrible. You'd think after fucking 32 other guys (I was lucky number 33) before she was even 18 yet, she'd be prety damn good at sex. That wasn't the case. Her vagina was horribly blown out, she hated giving head, and after she got off a few times from me eating her out, she was pretty much done and wanted me to finish up as quick as possible. Anyways, I'm getting off track...So one night, she proceeded to get WAY too shitfaced drunk. She had 3 shots of 100 proff vodka and a Smirnoff Ice, and for her lightweight self, that was a whole lot. She was on her period at the time, so we hadn't had sex in about 2 days. She dragged me over to her bed, where we proceeded to make out. Then, she kinda slid down, and sarted unzipping my pants. In my head, I thought to myself, "FUCK YEAH! My first BJ!" Little did I know how funny it would turn out. First off, her drunk ass had an unbelievably hard time unbuttoning my boxers. After about a minute, I finally stepped in and unbuttoned it for her. So she finally got to suck on my wang. Since I'm not sexually greedy, even though she didn't want to have sex because of her period, I still thought I'd rub her through her pants and what not and try to at least give her a good time, too. So after about 2 minutes, my friend who was also at her house, had to go to the bathroom. He hopped up from the couch, and had to walk past me and Sam since the bathroom was right next to her bed. He kinda ran past, and yelled, "Sorry, but I have to pee really bad!" I just looed at him, smiled, and said "It's cool." After that minor distraction, I noticed something. I didn't feel my dick getting sucked anymore. I looked down, and what did I see? Sam passed out COLD with my penis half way inside her mouth. I was confused at first, because I was trying to think of how I should handle this situation. I decided to wake her up. She kind of opened her eyes a little bit, so I knew she was slightly awake. "Sam, you fell asleep..." Then she made kind of a gurgling noise since my penis was still inm her mouth. She realized what she had done, and started crying and calling herself a whore. Being the good boyfriend I was, told her that she wasn't a whore (Even though she was a TOTAL whore), and that I loved her no matter what. I tucked her in bed, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and went to go have a cigarette with my friend Shawn who was a witness to the whole ordeal. I told him exactly what happened, and we both got a really good laugh about it. The next morning, when we all woke up, Shawn proceeded to open his big mouth like always. "So Justin told me something funny last night. I hear you passed out with his cock in your mouth!" As soon as he said that, Sam's face just went blank. Then her expression went from blank, to extremely angry. "That didn't happen" she said while looking straight at me. I didn't say anything. I don't know if she was just saying that, or if she totally forgot about it since she was pretty much lit off her ass. She probably still denies it to this day, but believe me, it happened alright. I'll never forget that sight. A girl passed out cold with my penis half way in her mouth. Priceless!

Justin