This day was the day that marked my sadness for life. I was having a semi decent work day when around 10pm my daddy called me and told me I needed to go to the hospital. My mom had been there for a month at that point so I figured it had something to do with her. I made my dad tell me what was going on while I was driving. He told me that the doctors were at their ends and recommended mom into hospice. It didn't make sense to me. I just couldn't believe what he was telling me. I pulled off the road and cried for awhile. This was the last day my mom actually talked to me. I love her so much and it still hurts and I imagine it probably always will hurt to think about it. 3 Days after being in Hospice my mom passed away. I was holding her hand the whole time with our family sitting all around her. She looked absolutely beautiful. She could still squeeze my hand to communicate which was such a blessing. I feel for anybody who has lost a loved one at such a young age. I will think about this day and the four months I had with my mother for the rest of my life..most likely everyday. Don't take life for granted. Don't take people for granted. Also, don't hold grudges, it's not worth it!! Love yourself and everybody around you. Figure out what is important to you and who is important to you. Two weeks after my mom passed Robby and I broke up. It's been one hell of a year to say the least. It's so strange..I was never afraid to love before this year. I am so afraid to love anyone again. I feel hallow inside and I am scared that the emptiness will never fade. One of my favorite quotes is, "Noone ever told me grief felt so like fear." I think it was C.S. Lewis who wrote that. I think. It's so true.
