In elementary school, I thought I was the shit at chess.  My brother or Dad probaby taught me the 3 way move and I used to kick the crap out of everyone in elementary school.  In order to pull this off you basically move the qeen into position as well as a rook in order to trap the king in three moves.  I never found anyone who could figure out a defense....

That is, until I met Theresa Wozniak....

She totally ripped me a new asshole one day and the three way move didnt even phase her.

I couldnt believe that this girl took me out of the tournament when I was very close to winning.  Little boys dont like girls beating them in anything.  This was one of the many reasons why I hated Theresa when I was in elementary school.  We reconciled our differences a few years later....

I especially love her now cause she is posting memories....

When I was growing up I would always babysit my cousins Ben, Steve and Christine.  I had so much fun with them all the time.  

One of the things I did that was especially exciting for them was that I would take them in this big red and yellow plastic car and would have them put their feet up on the "dash" and I would run around sprinting up and down their back yard doing 360's and jumps as they would all hold on for dear life.

Sure, there were accidents here and there, but those kids loved it so much and I would get such a good work out with it as well.

There are so many stories of fun things we all did together.  Playing board games, going trick or treating, playing video games, watching cartoons and much more as I was babysitting.

Please feel free to share something you remember from when I used to babysit you guys. 

When I was in middle school, my friends Chris and Ryan all decided to go drag to halloween. The one big difference from them to me was that I had a mask and these fake tits made out of foam. But they looked real. The other two had their moms put makeup on them and probably stuffed their bras.

I vividly remember walking down M59 and flashing cars with my fake boobs. Every single car that passed honked their horns at us. We walked to Ryans house and played mortal kombat.

I think next that night we went trick or treating and I had to leave for some reason to get back to Crary for a Band halloween costume party. If I recall there I placed third best costume or something like that. That was a very fun haloween.

Anyone who has been to my old room in Waterford has for sure seen these posters of Jenny McCarthy.

I kind of had a little crush on her when she did that dating show on MTV. She was pretty hot.

So I bought a poster of her in her Orange Bikini after she made a CD in 1995 or 1996 and recently I threw them away because there is no use for them anymore. I got the hottest woman in the world to marry me.

When I was in 5th grade Burt put on the Wizard of Oz play. We were totally professional in every respect. We had tryouts and I was thoroughly disappointed because I didnt get very good parts.

The one good part in the play (of which you can watch the vids) is that I was the crow leader.

Theresa (twozniak) was the wicked witch of the west and played it flawlessly.

Theresa is going to love these videos so much. I have the whole thing on DVD now.

Thats about all I can say about this play. It was a lot of fun. And I was quite proud that Nick (my best friend) got the Todo part over me! I think thats the part that I attempted to try out for and he got it over me.

Oh well... it was loads of fun. Enjoy the vids Theresa .